Why Spiritual Growth Feels Impossible (It's Not Your Fault)
If you’ve been trying really hard to be a better Christian, but you keep struggling with the same sins, the trying harder might actually be part of the problem.
Because you probably already know what you’re supposed to be like. Be more loving. Stop getting angry. Stop gossiping. Read your Bible. Pray more. And you genuinely want to do those things.
But knowing what’s right and trying really hard to do it doesn’t necessarily change what’s happening inside.
I’ve spent years studying spiritual formation, both academically and in ministry, and one of the most important things I’ve learned is that there’s a huge difference between changing your behavior and actually becoming more like Jesus.
So in this video, I want to show you why trying harder isn’t making you a better Christian, what’s actually keeping you stuck, and how the Holy Spirit transforms the parts of you that willpower can’t reach.
POINT ONE: Sanctification Gap
Richard Lovelace in 1978 coined the phrase ‘the sanctification gap’. This is the phenomena of looking at ourselves introspectively, and realising we are not where we ‘should’ be as a believer.
A sign you may struggle with the sanctification gap is sitting in church, and the pastor says ‘You need to stop being so angry!’ You say in your heart, “Yes, Lord! I want to stop being so angry! I am going to commit myself to stop being angry!” Yet the week passes by, and the person still struggles with anger.
Martin Luther called this the incontinent believer: Knows the good, desires good, chooses good but fails to do the good.
EXAMPLE: An example of this was Benjamin Franklin from America. He created charts to systematically improve himself as a person, so that he might become perfect. He checkmarked on a spreadsheet every time he did a virtue or sin during the day. Inevitably, he discovered that no matter how hard he tried, he could never become perfect. He said even to think he was more of a humble man, meant that he was proud of his humility!
READ: Romans 7:15-20
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Hook: But once you see that gap, another temptation appears. You try to close it yourself. And that's where things get even more complicated.
POINT TWO: The Hidden Heart
Part of the problem of trying to perfect oneself is that it attempts to only fix the external issue (anger, lust, gossip, etc). We never discover the ‘hidden heart’, or the underlying reasons we struggle with these sins.
READ: 1 Samuel 16:6-7
6 When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.”
7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
READ: Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
In general, what comes out of one's life is not by accident but is already in the heart.
The degree to which one is surprised by what comes out of one is the degree which one does not know his heart (lack of self-awareness, blind spots)
Thus, most Christians do not intend to sin; rather, they just “leak” from the sin habits of the heart. (This leaking of sins of the heart does not excuse the believer from responsibility.)
Beware of “magical prayers” or asking God to take away sins; be open to letting God teach you about these in humility, and take you on whatever humbling journey is necessary.
We cannot be perfected by:
surface correcting of deep sinful beliefs (or overlaying the beliefs by the truth alone)
willpower -- immediate behavioural change
Martin Luther calls this kind of believer the ‘continent believer’, who: Knows the good, desires good, chooses good, does the good with no joy
READ: Matthew 23:27-28
27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
We already know the truth and we have already made decisions in the past by will power to keep this and have failed
POINT THREE: Sanctification
Sanctification is a theological term to describe the process in which we become more like Christ in our thoughts, actions, and values.
1 Peter 1:2 tells us that we are sanctified by the Holy Spirit.
Contrary to popular belief, reading the Word does not sanctify us. It is good for our spiritual growth by learning more about God and his instructions for us. However, only the Spirit can reveal its application to our own lives.
In prayer, we lay ourselves before God, and ask Him to search that hidden part of our hearts, unknown even to us.
READ: Psalm 139:23-24
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Instead of ‘magical prayers’ like, “God, please take away my anger,” it’s better to ask, “God, why does X make me so angry? Why do I act in this way?” Asking God questions will help you go deeper in your soul AND develop a relationship with Him.
Don’t expect answers right away (words of knowledge while praying). You may just need to wait and see what the Lord reveals to you.
This process may seem scary or painful. Our tendency is to hide:
(READ GENESIS 3:7-8) We see at the very beginning in Adam and Eve, the human answer to sin and guilt was to
cover shame and badness (Gen. 3:7) and
hide from guilt and God and blame others (Gen. 3:8ff).
Instead, we should open ourselves to God as David did, remembering that God is our holy Father who loves us and gently corrects us.
READ: Hebrews 12:4-12
4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a]
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.
If you are vibing with what I am saying, but have a hard time picturing this in your own life, you can pick up my “7 Day Spiritual Reset” guide on my website for FREE. It’s 7 days to help you apply everything I say here in just a week’s time, taking out the confusion of this process and helping you become more spiritually mature.
Sanctification is never linear (or at least, it won’t feel linear). It’s also important to realise that most standards Christians uphold are goalposts, but we may never fully achieve them in this lifetime (e.g. perfect peace, no anger). When we read passages like Colossians 3, Ephesians 4, or 1 Peter, we shouldn’t take these instructions to mean self-perfection. We can only ‘put off’ sin and ‘put on’ the qualities of Yeshua with the Holy Spirit’s help.
If it was so easy to perfect ourselves, even the nonbelievers could do it! But clearly they cannot, which is why it is such a gift to have Him in our hearts.
The Reformation writers recognised that joy signalled a virtue had become deeply embedded in a believer. Thus, a Virtuous Person: Knows the good, desires good, chooses good, does the good with joy.
